the fabulous tale of "the huge stupendous blizzard attack" here it goes:

one foggy monday last novemeber, the buffalo public school system decided to have school. all the students in the city marched like good little worker bees to their respective institutions of learning, and commenced a day of mind-expandment (expandment??) when they happened to notice that they couldn't see more than 5 feet outside the window. Turns out, the "huge stupendous blizzard attack" was in their midst, and before they knew it there was zero visibility, 2 feet of snow, ferocious winds, and an hourly snow fall of about 8 inches. a little girl (little because she was short, not little because she was young) who had just discovered she had a nickname, chini, was scurrying to catch her bus afterschool when her sister yelled at her that they were going to get picked up by their dad. in a bout of idelible foolishness chini listened, and she missed her bus in favor of an elusive ride after school. after about a half and hour and still no ride, chini called home with her terrible terrible cell phone that never works and discovered that her father had abandoned all ideas of picking them up. his "excuse" was that his van (the one that's tall enough for jim to stand up in) was stuck in the driveway, and that alas they would be wise to try and catch the bus home after school.

after repeatedly throttling her sister for making her miss her first bus, a lumberjack/computer teacher noticed the murderous gleam in chini's eyes and offered to give the two sisters a ride home. eagerly, chini nodded and they piled into his lumberjack/computer supply van. four hours later during a typical 8 minute drive home, after driving two mph, sticking heads out the car window to try and see the road ahead, getting into another car to help get them out of a snowbank, and narrowly avoiding freakish displays of pink lightning, chini and her sister were dropped at the corner of their street, treked two blocks home, and were immediately diagnosed with frostbite and were forced to climb fully clothed into a bathtub of hot water. chini's other sister never made it home, and she slept at a friend's house after their school bus got stuck. many of chini's friends spent the night at school (eating cafeteria cookies for free), another slept at the house of another student she barely knew, and many others slept in their cars on the highways, bus depots, fire stations and supermarkets. ever since that fateful day when nearly 2,000 students never made it home, buffalo has been a "snow pansy," and we get roughly 6 unnecessary snow days per year.