my mind has been racing all night: its the quickest way for me to become stir crazy. i logged on instant messanger around 9 o clock, and stayed on until 2am because i really needed to talk, to speak, to enunciate... sometimes i talk and i write, and then suddenly things make sense of themselves. tonight, i had to articulate the same feeling three times over to finally understand what was bursting forth from me through language

moglidabear: i dont know. knowing that buffalo is somehow no longer the real world
moglidabear: and that yale is also not necessarily the real world has me feeing like i am in limbo
moglidabear: its really weird, and really really unsettling
moglidabear: in the sense that nothing feels right anymore
moglidabear: i don;t know. i dont think i can express much more, because i haven;t really thought it all through
moglidabear: i just know that, right now, my whole world feels fake
* 17 mar 2003 - - - rootsrock9

moglidabear: i guess maybe i'm realizing how much i have come to depend on things being structured that way
moglidabear: everything at school is so ego-centrically focused, so introverted, and small.. behind gates. so managed. i don;t even have time to think, really. i dont have time to let myself stagnate
ricochet2112: i mean, i think yale is definitely different from the real world in that sense, but i think that just my being conscious of that fact is enough to keep me from worrying about it
moglidabear: well...hmm. i feel the same way about home, i think. weird, huh?
moglidabear: maybe thats even why i haven;t made moves to contact my friends
moglidabear: its a little bit too surreal for me to even bother worrying about
*17 mar 2003 - - - ricochet2112

moglidabear: sometimes talking to people helps you articulate thoughts and ideas that you wouldn't ordinarily be able to even pronounce
redhairphoenix: definately
redhairphoenix: humans are dependant on social contack
redhairphoenix: contact
moglidabear: tell me aobut it
moglidabear: i've been online for the past 5 hours i think
moglidabear: i kind of just craved contact
moglidabear: the familiar type. not even the type i could get here, from people like khuyen and candice
moglidabear: in a way, i feel like we are out of touch
redhairphoenix: you and candice?
moglidabear: well, me and buffalo, i guess, more accurately
moglidabear: i keep trying to remind myself that the people and structures here are still important to my life
redhairphoenix: its hard to assimilate in college and still leave emotional attachments at home
*17 mar 2003 - - - redhairphoenix