i return home in a little more than a week, and i am rather ambivalent about rentry.. i think, in the pit of my stomach, i want to wow everyone with my french, but that isnt likely... i simply need more time here for that, more immersion, less contacts to the anglophone empire ( i have consistently spoken more english than french) so perhaps part of me wants to stay on for those reasons, which are strictly academic. nonetheless, i am looking forward to seeing everyone that i left behind, alot... while this summer has been many glorious things, it certainly has left me thirsty for company

things that i dont want to do.. i dont want to head back to yale. just dont wanna. im not interested in being hurled back onto a stack of books. i am sure this year will be much better than last, (because it has to be, its essential to my mental health) but i kind of detest playing the role of the egomanical, boxed in student. i also have identified a need within myself to transcend my campus, to exist outside of it; but im not sure how that can be achieved. yale is a world that extends 5 blocks, and smuts out the rest of the city. im pretty sure that id rather be of the other world
(email, 27 july)