happy to report that i almost got myself killed tonight. ate some fucking tomoato nonsense with wheat. i've downed one shot of epinepherine & two benyadryl allergy tablets since then. had to do it infront of an intern named virgina, too. only hope that the hotel staff don't suspect that i'm an iv drug user.

after self-medicating, i had a long talk w/ virgina. safe to say, my mistrust in 'le mec' has been restored. i have to say, i'm a bit greatful for the emotional intervention, because it increases the likelhood that i'll be straight up regarding my concerns when we meet tomorrow.

in addition, it means that i'll stop listening to bob marley and dreaming abut getting good loving on a jamaican beach. which is to say, my emotional safeguards will remain intact. the antihistamine is kicking in. argh.

if i die before i wake..